Subscribe to Female Mind Unleashed

Get new content and weekly updates sent correct to your inbox.

+Receive the digital download "16 Mantras to Conjure Peace of Mind + Confidence" when you lot sign up!

Truthful Friendship Works Both Ways

A contempo post discussed x actionable steps you can take to show upwards every bit a more supportive, caring person for your friends. It'due south a cracking guide for staying on your A-game or when you're aiming for serious team goals.

But sometimes, perhaps you're the one who'due south not getting what you need out of a friendship. Perhaps a friend isn't showing upwardly for you. At least not in the ways yous need them to.

Toxic friends tin can show upwards in life with a broad range of behaviors and in a multifariousness of ways.

Unfortunately, they're usually lacking awareness that leaves the offender in the night and you stumbling through serious frustration.

If left ignored or unaddressed, toxic friends turn a BFF relationship into a 'let's simply go our separate ways and pretend this never happened' cringey memory.

If most other aspects of your dynamic are going well and y'all're interested in saving the friendship yous accept, and then there'southward good news!

In that location are boundaries you can put in place to address a toxic friend's behavior, meliorate communication, and preserve your sanity.

Boundaries are the ultimate act of self-care. Click To Tweet

They're designed to protect you lot and help you lot advocate for your needs.

Boundaries draw a clear line indicating what kind of behavior you'll tolerate – and what you won't.

It tin can be a piddling intimidating to set boundaries, especially in our shut relationships. It's an astonishing confidence heave when y'all practise, though. There's no better feeling than standing upwardly for your peace of mind and wellbeing.

toxic friends

Let's explore five helpful tips for setting boundaries that, when effective, tin can totally change the way you feel near your friendship.

Each of these tips is meant as a blanket recommendation for generalized situations. Check in with your needs and follow your gut to customize them to work best for you!

five Tips For Setting Boundaries With a Toxic Friend

1. Explain How You lot're Feeling

The outset step to setting a boundary is explaining what exactly it is you're feeling or experiencing to your friend. This probably won't exist the near comfortable conversation… but for the sake of transparency, information technology's an of import one to take. Utilize your discretion when determining how deep yous desire to go.

If your friend is notoriously tardily and has wasted hours of your time holding your plans up, that's a fairly straight forward convo. Only if the issue is a little deeper, don't feel inclined to dish to the signal of vulnerability if information technology would hurt more than assistance the situation.

Keep the focus on your friend's specific toxic behavior; speak less about her graphic symbol, personality, or overall value as a person.

ii. Create a Articulate Boundary

Once your friend has been fabricated aware of a pattern of behavior that'due south problematic to your vibe, set a clear purlieus!

Go on it short, sweet, actionable, and fair.

Your boundary should focus on preventing her unwanted beliefs from leaking into your life.

Avert request her to human action or bear in detail means that would put an unreasonable burden on her (similar, request her to show up fifteen minutes early to all future events). Be directly and confirm that she understands what it is you're stating.

iii. Set Achievable Expectations

When y'all accept your master boundary in place, the next affair you'll want to do is ready expectations. Your expectations should cover both the toxic beliefs of your friend and your behavior should she disrespect your boundaries.

This way, you both have a prepare of guidelines going ahead which tin can assistance eliminate surprises or unproductive reactions. As in the example in a higher place, expectations for your friend should be achievable and reasonable.

Likewise, your response to her breaking the purlieus should be equally as reasonable (for at present, anyway!). For example, say your boundary dictates that she'due south too frequently late and yous're no longer able to expect for her across your agreed-upon meeting time.

If she's late again, she should reasonably look that you will accept already left (hopefully guilt-free) given your clear boundary. That's a expert incentive for her to accept some of the accountability off your shoulders.

4. Allow for Growth Mistakes

It's more likely than not that your friend will mess up a few times. Unless the boundary you've set is then necessary that one sideslip on her end is a major trespass, then consider her intentions.

Was she receptive and understanding of your original complaints?

A friend might take your feedback seriously but take a hard time breaking out of her toxic behavior patterns.

If you sense that she cares about your relationship and she's committed to fumbling through a period of change, so allow whatever leniency you desire to beget.

Continue an eye out, though, for excuses without the boosted endeavor.

set boundaries with a toxic friend

5. Frequently Audit The Friendship

If all has gone to plan and your boundary has made a positive affect on your friendship – hooray! It's an incredible achievement for both of you lot, full of mutual growth moments.

Whether your newly-defined friendship is a success story, still on its way in that location, or cracking at the seams, a routine audit is a key to future growth.

Maintain the importance of having your needs met. Be on the lookout for backslides or new toxic behaviors and address them speedily.

Feel empowered to stop a friendship if it's no longer proficient for you. Click To Tweet

While that can be bloodshot, and at times heartbreaking, the first adult female y'all should ever be looking out for is yourself!

Subscribe to Female person Mind Unleashed

Get new content and weekly updates sent right to your inbox.

+Receive the digital download "16 Mantras to Conjure Peace of Heed + Confidence" when you sign up!